top ten, or not

You know how sometimes you want to say a lot of things but just don’t know how. Good thing we can be anonymous on the web right? Well, Chico’s top ten really nails it down, particularly when it comes to topics we Filipinos aren’t too comfortable but would really want to participate. Here are his top ten (which I find really weird since it’s not really top ten, more like top twenty something) man versus woman quotes that I particularly liked. The names of the contributors are equally funny.

Pixygal - Men pay 2 pesos for a 1-peso item that he needs. Women pay 1 peso for a 2-peso item that she doesn’t need.

Lie - Women have many faults, while men only have 2: Everything they say and everything they do.

Aura/Kobe Kong - A woman marries a man hoping he will change, but he never does. A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change, but she always does.

Shining - Mark Twain: “Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.

Shining - Women still remember their first kiss even after men have forgotten their last.

Ian024 - Edgard Watson Howe - One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

Lucas/Jesse - MAN: “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time.” WOMAN: “God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”

Sharon Bato - Men control the world, women control the men.

Raindancer - When it comes to sex, women need a reason while men need only a place.

Dru - Women are like guitars, you need to pluck the right strings. Men are like a pair of maracas, just shake and jiggle a lot and you’re making music together.

Jhong - Men have the superpowers of both Lastikman & Iron Man: humahaba man, matigas pa rin na parang bakal.

Febkinse - 70 ways to make a man happy: number 1 is to LOVE him. The rest is 69.

Yñaki - The only price for having more than one wife is. . .having more than one Monster-in-law!

Mr. Perk - Girls are grown up once they start wearing bras.  Boys are grown up once they start removing bras.

Mama Rosa - Men are like toilets: either they’re taken, out of order, or full of sh*t.

Bing - Women, regardless of time, when it’s the right guy, would want to get married. Men, on the other hand, regardless of who the girl is, when it’s the right time, would want to get married.

Racer - An English professor wrote “A woman w/o her man is nothing” He asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothng.” All females in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Dojo - Men use love to get sex, while women use sex to get love.

Amanite - The greatest revenge to a man who steals your woman is to let him have her…because a truly good woman can never be stolen.

Arxangel - In shopping: Man would buy a useful thing for P1000. Woman would buy a useless thing for P500.

No name - Lucky is the man who wins the 1st love of a woman. Luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man.

Febkinse - My boss: “Ako ang batas, si misis ang diyos.”