till death do us part
December 3, 2008Here’s an old story that has been passed so many times. I’ve read this story countless times, but it never fails to hit the bulls eye every time.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms , walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office and jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah…blah. ..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
top ten, or not
November 12, 2008You know how sometimes you want to say a lot of things but just don’t know how. Good thing we can be anonymous on the web right? Well, Chico’s top ten really nails it down, particularly when it comes to topics we Filipinos aren’t too comfortable but would really want to participate. Here are his top ten (which I find really weird since it’s not really top ten, more like top twenty something) man versus woman quotes that I particularly liked. The names of the contributors are equally funny.
Pixygal - Men pay 2 pesos for a 1-peso item that he needs. Women pay 1 peso for a 2-peso item that she doesn’t need.
Lie - Women have many faults, while men only have 2: Everything they say and everything they do.
Aura/Kobe Kong - A woman marries a man hoping he will change, but he never does. A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change, but she always does.
Shining - Mark Twain: “Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.
Shining - Women still remember their first kiss even after men have forgotten their last.
Ian024 - Edgard Watson Howe - One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
Lucas/Jesse - MAN: “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time.” WOMAN: “God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”
Sharon Bato - Men control the world, women control the men.
Raindancer - When it comes to sex, women need a reason while men need only a place.
Dru - Women are like guitars, you need to pluck the right strings. Men are like a pair of maracas, just shake and jiggle a lot and you’re making music together.
Jhong - Men have the superpowers of both Lastikman & Iron Man: humahaba man, matigas pa rin na parang bakal.
Febkinse - 70 ways to make a man happy: number 1 is to LOVE him. The rest is 69.
Yñaki - The only price for having more than one wife is. . .having more than one Monster-in-law!
Mr. Perk - Girls are grown up once they start wearing bras. Boys are grown up once they start removing bras.
Mama Rosa - Men are like toilets: either they’re taken, out of order, or full of sh*t.
Bing - Women, regardless of time, when it’s the right guy, would want to get married. Men, on the other hand, regardless of who the girl is, when it’s the right time, would want to get married.
Racer - An English professor wrote “A woman w/o her man is nothing” He asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothng.” All females in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Dojo - Men use love to get sex, while women use sex to get love.
Amanite - The greatest revenge to a man who steals your woman is to let him have her…because a truly good woman can never be stolen.
Arxangel - In shopping: Man would buy a useful thing for P1000. Woman would buy a useless thing for P500.
No name - Lucky is the man who wins the 1st love of a woman. Luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man.
Febkinse - My boss: “Ako ang batas, si misis ang diyos.”
and another one
November 8, 2008
Here’s another attempt at blogging. This is probably my nth blog already. Adik na yata ako. I sign up, went through all the verifying and designing, and then find out later than I’ve lost what it was that drove me make another blog. I have peppered this with random things that at the time interested me, but I deleted it. It was not me. It wasn’t even about me. So here I go again. This time, I hope I somehow nailed it. Cheers!
